What is Complex Trauma?
It is multiple traumatic events that typically start in childhood and affect development, taking place over weeks, months, or years. Events can include abandonment, physical, mental, and sexual abuse, ongoing violence, torture, kidnapping, and living in a constant state of chaos and uncertainty. Survivors of complex trauma may experience guilt, shame, negative self-beliefs, helplessness, difficulty expressing emotions, and explosive anger. Some may be diagnosed with CPTSD (a sub-type of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or personality disorders such as BPD etc.
You may notice symptoms such as:
Dissociation (Derealization and Depersonalization)
Memory issues
Issues in relationships
Negative views of yourself
Nightmares and trouble sleeping
Being in a state of hypervigilance (fight or flight)
Issues with Emotional Regulation
As an online trauma therapist, I want to say that trauma does not have to define your life or stop you from having the things that you want. We are all capable of healing and moving towards the things that we want in our lives. Please do not get discouraged if you resonate with many of these. I will speak a little more in-depth about four ways CPTSD symptoms affect women.
Emotional Dysregulation
You likely were not taught skills to be able to manage and feel your emotions so you may suppress your emotions until you blow up or numb yourself when things feel overwhelming. Therapy can help you to feel your emotions safely and responsibly allowing you to process your experience. Or you may feel constantly emotionally overwhelmed and not able to cope very well when external events trigger big internal emotions and feel unmanageable.
Issues in romantic relationships
It can be hard to communicate if you are never taught how to which can lead to poor boundaries and a lack of communication skills—unhealthy family dynamics where there has been abuse or where people may benefit from an imbalance of power can also contribute to this.
How children attach to their parents and caregivers plays a role in how they attach to partners in adulthood. Dysfunctional relationships with parents or caregivers where needs were not met tend to play out in our relationships with romantic partners.
Trauma therapy can help you recognize the cycles and patterns that you get caught in and help you make more conscious choices to support healthy change. We are not doomed to keep repeating these patterns, we can consciously choose to change them.
Dissociation (Derealization and Depersonalization)
Dissociation, specifically Depersonalization is when you start to feel disconnected from the things around you, you may not feel present or in your body, and it may feel as though you are outside of yourself looking down. We may lose time feeling very spaced out.
Derealization is when it feels like reality is distorted or dream-like, there may be a sense of disconnection from what is happening around you. This is a protective factor that our brains use when we cannot handle our current reality. This symptom is common for many childhood trauma survivors and those who are experiencing PTSD.
Using grounding techniques can help you come back into the present.
Hypervigilance
Hypervigilance is when we are in a state of fight or flight, unable to calm down, often after a traumatic event we may remain hypervigilant or on watch even if we do not realize it. This is why working with a trauma therapist who knows how to help regulate the nervous system is helpful.
This symptom often presents as sensitivity to what is happening in our environment, you may notice that your heart rate is increased, you sweat more, and have higher anxiety levels.
There is Hope
Yes, you can start to heal from CPTSD (complex trauma) and shift these patterns and coping behaviors by being aware of what is happening, creating safety, slowing down, using emotional regulation tools, therapy, reading books, etc.
A lot of people feel hopeless and worry that something is wrong with them or that they won’t be able to change and have the life and relationships that they want and desire. However, things can shift, and you can start to heal. The first step is awareness of what is happening and how it is affecting you.
.
Book Resource:
Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD
Waking the Tiger, Healing the Trauma by Peter A. Levine
The Myth of Normal by Doctor Gabor Mate
About the author:
Corinna Killeen is a Registered Counsellor and Life Coach who specializes in grief, trauma, and anxiety. She lives in British Columbia, Canada, and works with her clients virtually/ online.
If you are interested in working with Corinna please book a free virtual consultation or send her an email at CorinnaKilleenCounselling@gmail.com
Comments